The 10 Funniest Jokes from the Last 100 Years

 

10 Funniest Jokes from the Last 100 Years

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A taxing situation

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Taking stock

One of the oddities of Wall Street is that it is the dealer and not the customer who is called broker. —Dallas News

RD Issue: October 1929 (the same month as the infamous stock market crash!)

Shrink rap

Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrist’s office.

“Hello, there,” said one. “Are you coming or going?”

“If I knew that,” said the other, “I wouldn’t be here.”

—The American Weekly

Just desserts

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

—Selma Glasser, Good Housekeeping

With a vengeance

In Denver, the members of a Sunday­-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.

Cheers!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”

“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”

This one’s a gem

A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: “Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, don’t wear any jewelry.”

“I haven’t anything valuable, madam,” answered the maid. “But thanks for the warning just the same.”

Boyfriend trouble

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

THANKS